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Jack and Lilly, saying goodbye to their bedroom

Jim and I have moved around a lot.  We didn't set out to move often, but each time we've moved, we have been ready to start a new phase of our lives and this move was no exception.  We know we want to live in other parts of the country and different parts of the world at some point in our lives, which is why it has taken us 11 years of living in Connecticut to buy a house.  It may seem counterintuitive--we want to travel so we bought a house in Connecticut.  But, Jim and I have decided this move is right for us and for our family at this point in time.  It was not a choice we took lightly.  It was the product of many conversations; of going back and forth and thinking up various scenarios in our mind.  We knew that we had to move out of our house on South Pine Creek Road, which we really loved.  Unfortunately, moving out every 11 months, when the owners come back to live there is just not feasible so we had to make some decisions.  Our goal at the end of this move, was that wherever we were going, we wanted to be excited about it. We looked at other houses to rent, but the rents were astronomical and the houses were not particularly appealing.  We looked at houses to buy, and so many times were discouraged at the speed with which houses in our price range would come on and go off the market.  Everything seemed to be too expensive or too small or not the right location.  We kept saying we don't really need much to make us happy, so how come it seemed impossible to find a house for the five of us to call home?

Just as has happened so many times before, things worked out at just the right time.  We found this house in a great little neighborhood on a cute street, Quaker Lane.  The owners wanted to close within a day of our lease ending.  We have 4 bedrooms and a great fenced in yard.  We have a basement that is already the childrens' favorite room--it has space for all their toys and for lots of books.  It will soon have an art corner for Lilly and places to park all of Jack's trucks.  We want to get bean bags for them and we'll have music set up down there.  We moved in a week ago, and it already feels like home.  Lilly and Jack have stopped calling it "the new house"; instead, this house is now "home" and the house on S Pine Creek has quickly become "the old house."

moving day bagels

It is amazing how adaptable children are.  We're not setting up any furniture or unpacking most things until after we come home from the lake in a few weeks as we're going to redo the floors while we are away.  I thought living amidst boxes would be unsettling and throw everyone off balance, and although it is not ideal, the little ones don't mind at all.  They play hide and seek around the boxes.  Lilly and Jack are sleeping on their mattresses on the floor in their bedroom and think it's amazing.  They keep saying they're camping and having sleepovers.  Hannah has her crib in her bedroom, and nothing else (aside from her sleep sack which she is way too big to wear but we have no idea how to take it away! She uses it for her blanket while she sucks her thumb to fall asleep so at the moment, she wears it like a cape; unzipped and with her feet out).  Jim and I are sleeping on an aerobed.  We have no real furniture here.  And yet, it is already our home.

Saying goodbye to South Pine Creek was not easy.  When we moved in there, Lilly had just turned 3, Jack was 10 months old and I was 2 months pregnant with Hannah.  Jim and I were 31.  While that was our home, Lilly started school; Jack learned how to walk and talk; Hannah was born; Jim and I celebrated 7 years of being married; Lilly learned how to ride a bike; Jack grew to love Thomas and trains and trucks and dirt.  Hannah learned how to crawl and walk and talk; Lilly said goodbye to her toddler years and became a real little girl, who is self sufficient and a big help to me with the little ones;  Jack put his books away in the "suitcase" (bookcase) and would ask us to help him build car transporters and dump trucks and acela trains out of lego; by the time we left, Hannah was in the mix, following the older two around, chasing them in circles around the house and dancing when they danced; some of Lilly's favorite expressions included "Don't Forget Cuckoo Head", telling me that Jack or Hannah was having a "grand old time," or when asked why there was such a mess at the end of quiet time, would respond with, "Mum, I mean, I'm astonished.  I have no idea how this mess got here."  Hannah said "hi" and "bye" to everything, especially the vacuum, which she doesn't like.  So, upon seeing the vacuum, this tiny little opinionated person would walk right up to it saying, "Bye bye vacuum."  Jack would tell us that he was "very so cold" or "very so hungry" to really emphasize what he wanted.  What amazing little people they are, and what wonderful memories we have from that house.

Jim and I enjoyed cold beers outside while watching the little ones play in the pool.  We shoveled feet of snow into mountains for sledding.  We had glasses of wine on the couch together, deciding how we would like to spend the next 10 years of our life.  We made wonderful, genuine friends who we know will be a part of our lives forever. We had cups of coffee on our "lazy" weekend mornings that we had to reheat 39050325987 times because it's truly impossible to drink a hot cup of coffee with three small children by your side.  We had discussions about jobs and children and marriage and what's really important in life.  We talked about how a house is just a house, and how it will never define us or hold us back.  If we want to live abroad in 5 years, we'll sell the house.  If an opportunity arises before then, we'll find renters.  Whatever the circumstances are, a house will not limit us and our future.

We had every member of our families come to visit at some point over the past two years.  Some for a few hours; others stayed a few weeks; and we even had a visitor for a few months, who learned to drive while she stayed with us!!!  (Sorry Auntie Ells...it's too monumental not to mention).  Jim's dad was known for his mysterious late night visits, arriving at 2am and leaving by 6am.  We had the entire Clark family over for a Christmas party this year.  Mum and Dad came over from Singapore and were once again on call when Hannah was born.  One of my most vivid memories from South Pine Creek is coming downstairs when we knew I was in labor with Hannah, seeing Dad...having a quick conversation and having to stop mid way through because I was having a contraction...running (or more likely, waddling) upstairs to give Mum a hug goodbye, and heading to Greenwich Hospital at 4:30am where Hannah was born an hour later.

We have so many memories; we have pictures and stories; and now, we get to create a whole new set of memories.  Bring it on, Quaker Lane.  I hope you're ready for us!  

Oh, how we loved this house!

Everyone needs goggles when they're playing in the water table

watching a show, with Elmo and Dottie

our cardinal

Jack and his dump truck

Playing a little "red light, green light" to kick off the weekend!

"I just jumped out of a truck!"

The biggest help of all

Our beach

a picnic in the moving truck!

Welcome home!!!!

The train table is our dining room table at the moment!

Gorgeous flowers from Marie and beautiful champagne from Mum and Dad

First task: get a (yellow) bike for Jack and a (yellow dump truck) helmet to ride around the new neighborhood!

The new bath is a hit!

We're officially CT residents...11 years later.

Hannah's favorite place.  The stairs.   

Hello, Quaker Lane!

A Dinner Conversation

The other day, we were sitting down having dinner and our "normal" dinner conversations. We typically chat about the day and what Lilly's favorite part of school was and Jack tells Jim the highlights of his day (which usually include a trip to Trader Joe's, any trucks he has seen drive by our house and what trains we saw go by when we were out and about) and Hannah is very quickly making herself heard, repeating words she knows as loudly as she can.  Jim and I try to chat briefly, but inevitably, our conversation is hijacked by little people and their random thoughts.  On this particular night, Lilly interrupted our conversation telling us she had something really important to say.

                      Lilly:  Excuse me, Mum, you're soooo lucky.

                      Me:    Why am I so lucky Lil? (I thought it had something to do with me being able to
                                 stay up late or the fact that I'm allowed to make the rules or that I get to drink fizzy
                                 water, all of which are regular conversations in our house).

                      Lilly:  You're so lucky because Papa, your Dad, is SOOOOOO cool.

*At this point, Jim did a double take and almost choked on his wine.*

                      Lilly:   I mean, he does magic.  He pulls things out of our ears, makes popping noises to
                                 the "Lollipop Song" and makes wine glasses whistle.  You're so lucky, Mum.

At the risk of putting words into Jim's mouth that I may have said, I will continue on by saying that Jim and I couldn't contain ourselves.  As far as random thoughts go, this one was pretty priceless.  One of us brought up the idea that Papa, who is known for his always fashionable elastic bottom pants and tevas, probably hasn't been called "cool", or "sooooo cool" for quite some time.

We relayed this conversation to Dad this over Skype that evening, and as would be expected, this went straight to his head.  I'm willing to bet that not too many 5-year old girls describe their grandfathers as cool, but that was indeed Lilly's word of choice.  It's a story that will not be allowed to fade away over time.

I have to include an email from Dad, when all the Stephens Family were chatting about Lilly's story.  Dad, in true Dad form, wrote:  

Lilly's thoughtful and spontaneous observation is a wonderful commentary on the perceptiveness of the young mind, untainted by the cynicism and feebleness of adulthood. Jim's response is probably the same one Steve Jobs got from his mother when he said he had designed a computer. Those on the front lines of human progress have always suffered disdain. It is the price we pay.   

In all seriousness, Lilly's story just goes to show that the things children need in their lives are so simple.  Sure, there are some toys that they love, but when Lilly talks about Papa, she doesn't talk about the things he's given her.  She doesn't talk about his job or his house (or lack thereof!) or anything to do with money.  She talks about him and his "magic" and his popping noise, which she practices making all the time, and can do herself now--something that I have a hard time doing.  What a wonderful, simple world she lives in.

Papa's magic, in full force.

Papa in action--teaching Jack how to skip rocks.  Pretty cool indeed.

Coming Up for Air

Life.  When I look back on the last couple of months, I am in awe of all that has taken place within our little family.  I know that I am no different from most people--everyone has busy lives.  Many mothers are trying to balance family and exercise and work and cooking and cleaning.  Finding that perfect combination of looking after myself, looking after my relationship with Jim and looking after our little ones is not easy. While I don't work 40 hours a week in an office, I head out many evenings to tutor, and then often on weekends to teach.  I made this deal with myself--I would only do this if it makes me happier.  Jim has been very upfront about that too--he does not want me to ever feel like I have to go out and tutor.  I have to say that as tired as I am at the end of the day, I love sitting down with the high school kids and helping them try and make sense of a subject that many can't stand and see no point to learning (ahem, Edward).  I like watching the wheels turn in their heads and see the pride in their faces when something that they've been confused about for weeks all of a sudden clicks.  I enjoy teaching and tutoring and being able to stay home during the day to raise three special little people who light up my days with their smiles and their stories and their songs, and who are growing up much too quickly.

April has been quite the month for our family.  Lilly turned five, and all of a sudden, seems to be a real little girl.  She is reading more; she's writing stories and notes and lists and signs; she's riding her new bike, without training wheels; she's intrigued by numbers and what they mean and how to write them and how to add them; she stays after school for activities three days a week now, so she's one step closer to being one of the revered "lunch bunchers" next year.  She has planted some herbs and is asking so many questions about taking care of a garden.  She has learned all the words to the Frozen song, "Let it Go" and sings it all.the.time.  It's not uncommon at bedtime to hear Jack yell downstairs, "Mum...Dad...Lilly's singing Frozen AGAIN..." She has decided (with Jim's help) that tennis is "her sport" and loves playing outside with her tennis racquet given any opportunity.  She's so much fun to be around and I love seeing the little girl that she's growing up to be.

Seeing her first movie in the theater--Rio 2, courtesy of Auntie Ellie

Jack is sleeping away in his big bed.  He made the adjustment relatively seamlessly.  We seem to have moved past the "get out of bed 200 times to go to the bathroom even though I just went" phase.  I had no idea that one person could go to the bathroom so many times in such a short period of time!  The bonus to this was that we said goodbye to diapers at night for Jack, because we were so sick of taking it off and putting it on every time he had to go to the bathroom.  So that was the end of that, and he's done so well!  Let me give you an idea of what Jack's bed looks like on any given night.  If I were to go in and check on him now, I would find at least 15 trains (Emily, Belle, Diesel 10 and Kevin, along with whatever other trains he felt like bringing up tonight) and another 10 books right next to him, including Tough Trucks, Flashing Fire Engines, Trains, and Trucks.  Jack will have Elmo and Pete the Cat, along with his dump truck pillow and his blanket.  And you'll find all these things around his head, which seems like a less than ideal way to sleep, in my opinion. So really, about 75% of Jack's bed is taken up with things other than Jack.  I dare you to try and take something away--he will notice before you're even out the door.

Hannah, being a typical third child, popped two molars last week and I had no idea until she bit down on my finger while we were playing a game.  There they were, two full fledged top molars!  She's taking steps here and there but still prefers crawling as her primary mode of transportation.  She couldn't be any sweeter.  She had a tiny little haircut to get some of the hair out of her face, so we've taken to calling her Carol Brady, especially when she has these two little curls that flare out on either side of her face when she wakes up in the morning or after a bath.    

Over the past few weeks, we found a house that we love, in a great neighborhood in Fairfield.  It is a house where Lilly, Jack and Hannah can ride their bikes outside; it's across the street from a park with ducks; it's a couple of miles away from the beach; and it just feels right.  We're in the final stages of signing contracts and doing all the official things you have to do when you buy a house, and are cautiously optimistic about our move in July.  It's not a huge house, but it will be filled with lots of love and is a house where Jim and I can both see our family thriving in the years ahead.

33rd birthday celebrations

Jim is going through a difficult time at work--a time that I know he'll remember forever.  It's one of those experiences that you have to have in order to make you a stronger person, and although no one wants to go through what Jim has been going through, it's been a reality check.  It's made him think about what he really wants to do with his life.  We've talked a lot about what makes us happy and what is really important in our lives.  It has been a time that has made our relationship and our family stronger and I know that one day, Jim will be telling Lilly, Jack and Hannah about these weeks and how they helped him grow.

A bedtime snuggle--the things that really matter in life.

Ellie is staying with us while she gets settled back in the US, and that has been such a treat.  She has brought a lot of laughter and fun into our house.  The little ones adore her and I love watching Ellie's interactions with them.  Her patience is admirable (a trait she must have inherited from Dad).  No, really, Ellie is so unbelievably patient with Lilly, Jack and Hannah.  It's not easy being surrounded by three very little children all day every day, especially when she doesn't even have her own space in our house.  She reads to them and lets them climb all over her.  She does puzzles on repeat and has perfected her "Duck, Duck, Goose" skills.  Sometimes, she just can't help herself--I'll see such an Ellie look on her face before she blurts out something that she knows is going to drive one of them crazy, purely for the reaction.  Like telling Jack that Whiff is her favorite train--NOT Emily.  Or telling Lilly that she looks like a tiger because she's wearing stripes--and Lilly repeatedly tells Ellie that she wants to be called by her real name--none of these made up names that Ellie has for her.  Over the past few weeks, the little ones have learned when to back off--as I saw growing up with Ellie, when she wants to be left alone, you better leave her alone.  They caught on quickly; there's no jumping on Ellie's bed and tickling her in the morning unless she's had TWO cups of coffee.  It's easy having Ellie here. I never have to explain to her how to enforce the rules.  She just knows.  And boy, have I come to fully appreciate having an extra set of (grown up) hands all day.  Not to mention the fact that Ellie and I haven't spent this much time together since summers in college.  Oh, and it helps that she has perfected an unbelievable mango margarita recipe.

This month, I turned 33 and Jim and I celebrated 7 years of being married.  Our wedding feels like it was yesterday and an eternity ago at the same time.  As clearly as I can remember our newly married days, I can't imagine our life any differently from the way it is now.  I love Jim more than I did the day I married him.  I have three little people who have taught me how to be a Mum.  I'm a pretty happy person these days.  How many more things could we pack into April?  I have to say that I'm ready for May; ready for the warmer weather; ready for school to wind down and tutoring to dwindle a bit; I'm ready to come up for air and relax and enjoy life for a little while.  I've stopped having unreasonable expectations about how much and how often I want to write.  I've started running regularly and I now miss it when I don't start off my days with fresh air while I watch the sun rise.  I've been reading more and facebooking less.  So, with that, I say goodbye to April (and hopefully the cold weather and rain as well).  Let's see what May has in store for us.

Birth-A-Versary Number 7--enjoying some Veuve Clicquot courtesy of Mum and Dad