A Morning to Remember

I write about things that I want to remember here. I want to be able to look back on these years and read about what things were really like. I know that as a mother, memories can blend together. These first two years already feel like a blur so I can only imagine how quickly the years will pass as our family grows. We often ask Mum questions about our childhood and while she has some very clear memories, there are other events that she has no recollection of (like Joseph's birth...it's a bit of a touchy subject. Just ask Joseph). It's impossible to write down everything that happens, but I want Lilly to be able to read snippets of her first few years; the years that she won't remember but the ones that are so formative in shaping who she will be as a person. Well, this morning was a morning that I want to remember.

I woke up at 4:40am...again. For the second night in a row, I woke up to little kicks and punches and some serious relocation going on in my stomach. It always makes me smile, even at night. It was dark and quiet and I felt like I was spending some time with this little one. As most people know, it takes a lot to wake me up. I can sleep through pretty much anything, except during these last weeks of being pregnant. On Sunday night when this happened, and I couldn't go back to sleep, I ended up being so frustrated and exhausted on Monday morning. I was a pleasure to be around, I'm sure. So, this morning, when Jim rolled over and asked me if I wanted to go to the gym first today since I was already awake, I jumped at the opportunity. If I wasn't going to sleep, I was at least going to feel good about myself. I headed off to the gym and was back by 6:15 when Jim went out for his run. Jim and I spent the rest of the morning together before he had to leave for work. When he left at 8:15, Lilly was still asleep and I was sitting on the couch listening to Deuter (some of the most relaxing music I've come across), reading and having tea. I proceeded to fall asleep, and woke up with a jump at 9:30, only to discover that Lilly was still asleep. We know she's getting new teeth, and her solution to that is usually some extra sleep so I had no intention of waking her. At 9:45, I heard the usual, "COME IN! EXCUSE ME? I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM...NO PEE PEE IN BED!" from the little bedroom across the hall. After going to the bathroom, Lilly returned to bed and asked to read books there ("one more book, Mummy?"), so the two of us spent a good part of the morning lying in her bed reading. Jim put Lilly to bed at 6:40 last night; she was asleep by 7. Almost 15 hours of sleep?! When Lilly turns to me one day and asks if she was a good sleeper when she was little, I will be able to say, without any hesitation, "you were an amazing sleeper!"

As soon as we finished reading in bed, Lilly was up and unstoppable. The house went from being a tranquil haven for relaxing and reading to a toddler's playroom in a matter of minutes. The blocks and legos came out. Judy was taken for walks in her stroller and had naps in her pack 'n play. Lilly decorated toy cupcakes and baked pretend cookies. And so our morning routine proceeded from there. Fruit and coffee for me; apple juice and toast for Lilly; the Tour; and then out and about to do a few things before coming home for lunch and a nap.

Our picnic lunch...paninis, in a tutu of course.

Dad told me yesterday that he wants to get Jim a polka dotted jersey, or a yellow jersey, so that when he goes out for his bike rides, Lilly thinks he's off to the Tour de France. On Sunday morning, Lilly was especially confused because the Tour was on but Jim was at home. Lilly asked Jim, "Where is you, Daddy?" (As a side note, that is one of my favorite expressions at the moment). He told her that he took the day off. Lilly thought about it for a second, nodded her head, and then said, "okay Daddy." Jim and I smiled and went back to watching the Tour. Today, Lilly spotted Jim racing again. He was the one in the yellow jersey. So far, he's having a fantastic race.

Cheering on Daddy in the Tour de France

We're HOME!

As much as I don't adore Connecticut, I do love being home. We have spent so much of this summer traveling that spending a full week at home has felt like bliss. We all got back into the swing of things this week. Lilly was so excited to be surrounded by her toys again, I loved our lazy mornings, the visits to the gym, the cups of coffee, the trips to the park, watching the Tour de France, and spending time with friends, and Jim loved going back to work. Well, at least Lilly assumed he did. One evening, after Lilly's lips were purple from playing in the pool for the afternoon, I convinced Lilly that we could continue playing in our own pool...the bath, where it would be nice and warm and neither of us would freeze to death. So, upon assuring her that she could have a bath in her tutu bathing suit, we moved our party inside. Jim arrived home from work shortly after and we said our usual hellos, Jim asked about our day, and then Lilly turned to Jim and said, "Did you have fun at work today, Daddy?" She caught both of us by surprise. Jim and I just looked at each other and smiled, and Jim replied, "Yes, Lilly...I had so much fun at work today!" Why would she think any differently? Her day is filled with everything she loves...trips to the park, playing in the pool, books, baking, apple juice, her water table, cheese, tutus, skype chats, picnics, coloring, Winnie the Pooh, Judy, her one, and Latoof the camel. So, it makes sense that she thinks Jim's day is filled with things that he loves too.

As I mentioned, Lilly and I watched a lot of the Tour de France this week. Or, as Lilly says, "Are you watching bike racing again, Mum?" Yes, the Tour was on for the greater part of our mornings and although we didn't sit and watch it from start to finish each day, we'd both stop and different points of our morning to check in on the riders. Lilly witnessed one of the crashes on Friday morning and spent the rest of the day asking me, "Where is the man that falled, Mum?" She was very concerned about Jens Voigt. Lilly also caught a rider having a "gu" or gel of some sort, and then tossing it into the trees, to which she responded, "oh no, naughty man Mummy...trash goes in the trash can, not in the forest." I agreed with her and decided to forego the conversation in which we discuss racing circumstances where throwing trash on the side of the road is considered acceptable. She'll have a field day at her next Ironman, watching people throw cups, wrappers, banana peels, even water bottles. And I'm sure she'll have something to say about all those situations as well.

My favorite part about watching the Tour with Lilly is that that as she watches intently, she says she sees Jim. And, funnily enough, Jim is always the rider in front. Lilly gets genuinely excited, points at the television and says, "Look Mum, there's Daddy!" That must be what she envisions when Jim goes off to work. Yesterday, after Jim came home from a sweltering 90 mile ride feeling less than fantastic, I tried to boost his spirits by telling him that according to Lilly, he won the toughest stage of the Tour, in the Pyrenees. Watching the Tour with a two-year old has certainly allowed me to see it from a different perspective.

We had the perfect weekend at home--one that we had been in need of for awhile now. Jim did a lot of training, we played at the pool, but mostly we just enjoyed our little family. In 11 weeks, we'll have our newest addition. I remember these last weeks before Lilly was born, when Jim and I wanted to spend as much time together as possible, not knowing how things would change with the arrival of a baby. It's the same thing again this time. We love our lives at the moment and even though we know things are changing for the better, we're going to savor every moment together as our family of three.

This is the perfect opportunity to thank Dad for his advice on baby names for the newest Clark. You can find his advice here. It is clear that Dad is tapering this week in preparation for Ironman Lake Placid next weekend. He seems to have a lot more time on his hands, so I'm sure we'll see some more blogs like this one in the weeks ahead. After all, this one focuses primarily on boys' names. And while Percy and Rufus are welcome suggestions, what if we have a girl?

No blog is complete with out pictures, so here are some from our fun filled afternoon with Brien, Liz and Stella yesterday. As the girls are getting bigger, we are starting to enjoy some more relaxed time hanging out together, like we used to. Although now, instead of drinking beers by the pool, the dads were in swimming with the little ones, who were wearing their tutu bathing suits, while the moms caught up. There will come a time again when someone isn't pregnant, the little ones won't be so little, and we can all drink bottles of wine late into the night again. Just not for a few more years.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...Who is the Most Stubborn One of All?

Stubborn. Opinionated. Strong willed. Determined. I'm not sure which of these I'd pick to best describe Lilly at the moment. At any moment of any day over the past few weeks, one of these words has been applicable. Not like there was any doubt she was going to be stubborn. After all, look at her dad. And I guess, occasionally, her Mum. We are both stubborn, strong-willed, determined and opinionated, so it's no surprise that Lilly is as well. Lately, it just seems to be magnified. It might have something to do with the fact that she's so little with such strong opinions. Or the fact that she doesn't yet know how to keep any opinion to herself, so anything she thinks come straight out of her mouth. Whatever the reason, Lilly is making her opinions known. See exhibit A.

And exhibit B.

Since we came back from DC a few weeks ago, Lilly has decided that she doesn't want to lie down in her bed. So, she goes to sleep sitting up. Sometimes, she gives in before she falls asleep and lies down, but just as often, Jim or I have to go in and lie her down before we go to bed. Why the sudden urge to sit up in bed? I think it is just a way to assert her independence. If only she could see the irony in the situation. Lilly thinks that she wins because she goes to sleep sitting up. In reality, Jim and I win because a) she goes to sleep and b) she stays in her bed...just sitting up in her bed. Then, when she wakes up, she does the same thing she used to do in her crib--she lounges and asks us to lie on her bed with her. She rolls around with her stuffed animals and plays under her sheets. It's the going to bed part that has become more of a production than it used to be with her crib. The adjustment to a bed is taking some time, and since we're traveling so much at the moment, she hasn't had more than a few days in a row to get used to it before we're off to somewhere else and she's sleeping in the pack 'n play again. But after we get back from the lake next week, we have a couple of weeks at home. I'm glad we moved Lilly to her bed plenty of time before this baby is born because I think it is a big adjustment for her. Adjustment or no adjustment, the stubbornness is undeniable. Which leads me to...

A donkey. The only living creature who is more stubborn than Lilly. Well, maybe my Mum (who as Dad points out, has her Lebanese heritage to thank for her strong will).

Stubbornness aside, I'm beginning to realize more and more that condo living is just not for us. We need our own space. We don't need a lot of space, but it just has to be our own. Lilly adores being outside and would spend every waking moment playing in her water table or drawing with chalk or blowing bubbles. Unfortunately, the neighbors' girls' (who are 4 and 7) adore Lilly and every time they see her walk outside, they come running over and want to play. While I love the fact that Lil is so happy to play with them, I think it's really important that Lilly play by herself sometimes. And those times are few and far between at the moment, as the girls are out of school but not yet in summer camp. They even came over last night when Lilly was helping Jim grill outside, and as you can imagine, Jim doesn't think too fondly of the whole situation. When he comes home at night, it's our family time. If this continues every time we walk outside, I'm going to have to say something to their mom. I'm not one for confrontations so the whole thought of it makes me cringe, but it's starting to get out of hand. And they're not the nicest girls; the way they speak to each other is horrible; the way they speak to their parents is even worse. I know how much and how quickly Lilly absorbs things, and I do not want her picking up these girls' behaviors. It makes me nervous for the years ahead when Lilly will be off at school with children who I know I'd rather her not be around. But it also makes me thankful. Thankful that I have these years, when she is so little, to control who she's around on a daily basis, thereby allowing her own little personality to flourish.

Alright. That's enough for today! I'm enjoying my new lounge chair outside while Lilly is asleep, and I'm going to finally finish reading Chesapeake, by James Michener. It's an amazing historical fiction saga that takes place in, you guessed it, the Chesapeake region, that I've been reading for ages now. I took a couple of months off when tutoring was especially busy, but am coming into the home stretch. So I'm going to take advantage of the sun, the quiet, my iced coffee and my lounge chair on this last day of June. Another month has flown by, which means it's time to head up to the Lake this weekend to celebrate the 4th of July! Have I mentioned that I love summer?

"Wells" is Home!

I love summer. I never get sick of the heat and wish for it to start snowing again. I could do without the humidity (and so could my hair), but that hasn't been too bad so far this year. I've decided that I even like being pregnant better in the summer. When I was really pregnant with Lilly, it was the middle of winter and I had to wear all these big, bulky maternity clothes that just made me feel huge. Not that I don't feel huge this time, but it's easier to feel cute and pregnant when you're wearing sun dresses and skirts and tank tops. I might change my mind come August, but for now, I'll take a summer pregnancy. After all, what choice do I have?

After our first wedding of the summer, we spent a week in DC while Ellie was home from Guatemala. She was back in the country for the first time in six months so we jumped at the opportunity to see her. She heads back tomorrow for an undetermined amount of time. If it's another six months, then we won't see her again until Christmas, but there has been talk of a return visit mid-October after this baby is born, which we're rooting for. While we were down in DC, we celebrated Dad's last day of work at the World Bank, and his "retirement." It doesn't seem appropriate to say that Dad is retiring. In fact, I think his Ironman training coach put it perfectly. On Dad's training calendar for his last week, his coach put his regular workouts on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and then on Thursday, Dad's first day without work, he wrote, "First day as a Pro Triathlete." Most people retire when they want to relax and spend more time doing nothing. Dad is retiring so he can spend 30 hours a week on his bike. Cue day one of Dad's retirement--working on his bike with a little helper.

From the basement, we overheard this conversation:

Lilly: "What's this Papa?"
Dad: "It's a very important bike tool. You use it to put on tires."
Lilly: "Oooh. I need this screwdriver, Papa, like Daddy's."
Dad: "You can play with the screwdrivers. Just be careful."

Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.

Dad: "Sorry, Lilly. We don't bang on my spokes with a screw driver. I think it's time to put them away."

All of us upstairs heard the stomping of a little toddlers footsteps, and Lilly emerged from the basement a few minutes later, clearly unhappy to learn that screwdrivers and spokes do not mix. Dad and Lilly had a few good bike cleaning/fixing sessions. Lilly helped Dad clean his chain and helped him put new tires on the wheels that Dad himself made a few weekends ago. I wonder when she'll do her first Ironman...

Lilly had a great time in DC, as always. She has her little routines there. She helps Papa or Gigi feed Tess breakfast and dinner; she follow Tess around telling her how cute she is and giving her scratches, or Judy, or her one; she's always up for watering the garden or picking lettuce with Gigi; she knows the walk to downtown Columbia Heights. The walk was made even more exciting this time by the discovery that one of the houses along the way is home to a bunny, Geronimo, who roams in and out of the house at his discretion. We saw Geronimo, and his owners (who seemed to be sitting outside drinking beer constantly), quite often.

Fitting right into the neighborhood. Just helping Gigi water the garden wearing her pajamas and tutu.

Carrying her granola bar above her head so Tess can't reach it. This was fantastic entertainment for both of them for a good half hour!

Lilly covered Tess with her one, while Tess was asleep. Tess is so old that she doesn't even flinch when Lilly does things like this anymore. I bet if she could, she would roll her eyes.

I walked into the kitchen to find this; two of Lilly's favorite things, Tess and Judy spending time together.

As I mentioned, this trip to DC was planned knowing that Ellie would be home. Ells, or "Wells" as Lilly called her, quickly became Lilly's best friend. Lilly kept walking up to Ellie, taking her hand, and saying things like, "come on, Wells, let's go outside and _________." (Insert any word you want here: dig, play, go for a walk, water the plants, draw with chalk, play with play-doh... You name it, Wells and Lilly did it).

"Watching" 101 Dalmations on Ellie's first morning in DC. Ellie got in at 4am. Lilly was up at 7. What a perfect way to spend the morning!

Ellie's drawing of Elmo is pretty amazing!

I love seeing Ellie and Lilly together. In my mind, Lilly is a smaller version of Ellie, but as an oldest child instead of a third child. They think alike, have extremely strong opinions, and you don't want to get on either of their bad sides. Ellie is the perfect Godmother for Lilly (aside from the whole religious aspect...) The two of them colored and played with play-doh together for hours. The watched "moomies" together. They read "Princess Baby" together--the book that Ellie gave Lilly when she was only weeks old, not knowing how appropriate it was going to be or how much Lilly was going to adore it. I'm not sure who likes the book more...Ellie or Lilly! Ellie made Lilly squeal with laughter like I have never heard. Dad called it the Fakhry squeal--apparently it runs in Mum's side of the family and I have to say that it was seriously ear piercing. How did I know that Ellie would bring that squeal out of Lilly? Ellie also knew exactly how to press Lilly's buttons. One afternoon when I was making smoothies, I asked Lilly if she wanted one and for some reason, she really didn't, and she felt pretty strongly about it. Ellie picked up on this and started asking Lilly over and over again if she wanted a "hoomie" (Lilly's word for smoothie), and every time, Lilly got so worked up over it. Ellie was in hysterics. It was just like when Edward was little. And of course, Ellie gave Lilly another haircut. Her last one was when we last saw Ells in Florida so she was well overdue. Lilly was a bit less patient this time but amazingly, her hair came out looking so cute. As Ellie was cutting her hair, I told Lilly that her hair was getting so blond from the sun, and she said, "no, my hair's beautiful, not blond." Yes, definitely a little Ellie. I can see that Ellie and Lilly are going to have a special relationship as Lilly grows up. The whole drive home, Lilly kept asking where Ells was and has since said hundreds of times that she wants to play with Ells again.

Playing with the spray bottle to keep her entertained

And now the scissors?! This definitely does not look safe.

We celebrated Father's Day down in DC, and Lilly was very excited to give Jim his present and to open it with him. Amidst the confusion of yet another celebration, Lilly began the day by wishing Jim a Happy Birthday. Once she learned that it was "Happy Father's Day" instead, that became her slogan for the day.

Helping with the iPod

A Father's Day hug

"I'm not quite so sure what this funny looking helmet is, but it has a buckle and I loooove buckles!"

A little Father's Day dance

Now, whenever Lilly sees Jim's aero helmet, whether he's at home or at work, Lilly points to it and says, "Happy Father's Day, Dad!"

And the rest of our stay in DC went something like this:

Lilly adored Ellie's infamous head, created in a pottery class in Singapore that has traveled around the world with Mum and Dad. Lilly and Ells gave the head a bath multiple times.

Dancing to "Forget You" with Papa. Still her all-time favorite song!

She's got pretty good moves!

Driving back to Connecticut, with Judy on her shoulders.

One's in her mouth, which means it must be nap time.

It was a great week in DC; one that went by too quickly. We hope that Ells comes back before Christmas as six months is an awfully long time to go without seeing someone that you love. I love spending time with my sister; Jim with his third-child-partner-in-crime; and Lilly, with her Godmother.