Where Do the Days Go?

It gets harder and harder to document life in our busy little family.  Ironically, the harder it is for me to sit down and write, the more I want to do it.  I know these days are so special and fleeting, and there's so much that I want to remember about them.

Lilly is five and a half, and what a wonderful age that is.  She got to play soccer on a team for the first time this year.  She still loves going off to school and she has quickly adapted to life in a neighborhood.  Lilly knows everyone and everything that is going on in our neighborhood at all times.  If you're not sure where to find her, it's a safe bet that she's either sitting out the back on the swing set, where she can monitor what's going on all around us, or sitting on the front steps waiting for a school bus to pick up or drop off children.  Lilly is full of spunk--she's happy, energetic and will never turn down the opportunity to play outside.  More and more, she comes out with comments or statements that catch me off guard.  Many of her expressions make me realize she is growing up and is extremely aware of everything going on around her, and other ones remind me that she is only five.  I have been having Special K for breakfast a lot lately, and Lilly and Jack jumped on this as a new cereal they had to try.  Because I was eating it, they both instantly loved it.  After she finished her first bowl, Lilly proceeded to ask if she could please have some more "Magic K".  It sounds a little bit more like a narcotic than I would like, but yes, Lilly, you can have as much Magic K as you would like in our house.  

Lilly knows where the boundaries lie and yet she constantly tests them.  For example, last week, we had little Grace who lives in our neighborhood over to play.  When Grace's sister Lauren came to pick her up, the first thing that Grace told her was "We had so much fun, Lauren...we peed in the yard!!" I almost died.  Lilly first denied it, as did Jack.  Clearly, they both knew it was wrong.  But Grace continued on to tell us that all of them did it.  Lauren followed this up by saying, "Well, Grace's pants are wet, so I think they really did."  I sent Lilly and Jack up to their bedrooms, and sent Grace's mom an apologetic, embarrassed message telling her what happened.  Grace is the youngest in her family, so her mom just laughed and said not to worry--she's seen it all.  But I was still mortified!  I talked to Lilly and Jack and made it clear that this was unacceptable (which they already knew) and didn't let them have dessert that night (which brought Jack to tears but barely phased Lilly).  Since that day, every night after dinner, Jack says, "Can I have dessert, Mom?  I didn't pee in the yard today."  Lilly has mentioned it a few times as well and has asked to have Grace over again so she can have another chance.  I thought coming inside to go to the bathroom was a pretty clear boundary, but clearly it was one that Lilly felt the need to push up against (and then go flying backwards).

One of my favorites. 

Jack is three--a newly turned three year old who couldn't love trucks any more than he does.  His best days involve garbage pick up in the neighborhood, watching the children get on the school bus, a UPS delivery and a trip on the highway.  Throw in any kind of siren or flashing lights and I would call it Jack's dream come true.  He still sucks his thumb diligently and has a ridiculously long nap every day--that he has to be woken up from, so he still seems so little to me.  Jack will be starting school with Lilly in January, and as much as I know he is ready, it still gives me a lump in my throat when I think about dropping him off every day.  A few weeks ago, he came up to me wearing a (fairy) backpack and asked me if it was after Christmas yet because he was ready to go to school.  I told him just a couple more months, and then reminded myself to soak up these mornings with this sensitive little guy, who can't get enough cuddles.

Amazingly decorated cake by Auntie Ells! 

We moved Jack into his own room about a month ago.  It is a room full of trucks and cars and everything boy, and Jack adores it.  This came about because Hannah was spending hours in the middle of the night calling everyone's names.  Jim and I tried everything.  We ignored it, but she was persistent, so the end result was that we were lying in bed awake for two hours listening to her call out, asking for all of us.  We tried going in and reasoning with her.  You can guess how well that worked.  It was bad for a little while though.  I knew just how bad it was when Ellie, who was staying with us, was googling things like, "why does my toddler wake up and yell at night?" and after doing some research, advised me to keep a sleep journal so we could start tracking what was going on.  Ellie was doing this.  Ellie.  So then we decided that Hannah needed a roommate, and what better roommate than her equally chatty big sister.  The same day that we made our decision, we spent the evening disassembling beds and cribs and rearranging everyone to put our plan into action.  The first night, when Hannah woke up, she quickly switched from calling "Mommy, Daddy, Mommy...." to "WIWWY!!!"  Lilly rolled over, told her that it was nighttime and that everyone was asleep, to which Hannah responded with a sad, "okay" and went back to sleep.  It has taken a few weeks of this new arrangement but I think that finally, Hannah understands that no one is going to talk to her or play with her in the night, no matter how much she yells.    

Hannah is 19 months old and as Mum as correctly guessed from all the stories that make their way across the ocean, Hannah is indeed a little dynamo.  She wants to do everything that the older two do, and she usually succeeds at it.  She swings on the big-kid swings.  She goes up and down the stairs comfortably.  She climbs on whatever playground ropes or balance beams she sees Jack and Lilly use.  She talks a mile a minute--at her most recent doctor's appointment, her pediatrician said she has the verbal skills of a three year old.  And really, she does.  For months, she has been walking around the house saying, "Come on, Mom" when she wants me to do something with her.  When Lilly or Jack send her on a mission to get a toy from the basement or their slippers from upstairs (you know, the really fun jobs that a third child gets to do...) Hannah's little voice can be heard saying a happy, "sure" which sounds more like "shaw!" She has a cheeky, toothy smile which makes me laugh every time.  Hannah has loved playing with Uncle Joef while he's staying with us, as he will sprint circles or hop like a bunny or skip with her around the house.  Sometimes he will hide from her and jump out when she comes around the corner, producing shrieks of delight.  She has taken to calling him Uncle Joefy, which makes us all laugh.

So that is a snapshot of our life at the moment.  We tucked three very excited children into bed tonight.  Halloween in this neighborhood is a big deal, so we're gearing up for a pizza party, parade and trick or treating tomorrow night.  They all love their costumes so tomorrow, despite my usual disdain for Halloween, should be a lot of fun.  Here are a few more photos of the past few weeks.  There certainly is never a dull moment with these three.

In heaven...driving the bus at Touch-A-Truck

One fierce looking bicycle gang.

Lilly went to visit Jack on their first night sleeping in different bedrooms

Time to wash Jack's trucks

Hannah has some serious hair in the morning! 

Hanging out at Lilly's soccer game...waiting for the post-game snack!

Off to Kindergarten!

First Day of School, 2014

As sad as I always am to see summer come to a close, the start of this school year brought so much excitement.  Lilly began her lunch bunch (or Kindergarten) year at Hunt Ridge, and had her first full day today.  She has been ready and asking to be a lunch buncher since her first day there two years ago.  When I told her that on the way to school this morning, she started laughing and said, "But Mom, 3 year olds can't be lunch bunchers. Only 5 year olds can!"  Lilly carries such joy, determination and excitement with her and has from her earliest days--even her entrance into the world was on her own terms and so fitting knowing the little girl she is today.  I've heard from lots of parents at the school about how amazing the third year of Montessori is.  It's a year when everything they've done over the past two years comes together.  They learn how to transition from using concrete manipulatives to abstract thinking.  They're not just taught how to add and subtract and to memorize math facts, but what decimals and place value really mean so that when math becomes more difficult down the road, they have a solid foundation upon which they can build.  They're the oldest children in the classroom and have the opportunity to teach lessons to the younger children.  They learn how to become respectful leaders. I have been constantly amazed by what Lilly learned at school over the past two years so I can only imagine where this year will take her!

Putting my love of the Montessori classroom aside, there's a little part of me that is sad today.  That same ache that I had on Lilly's very first day is back.  I know it's the next step and that Lilly is ready, but last night, I overheard a little conversation between Lilly and Hannah, when Lilly took Hannah aside and said:   "I'm going to be a lunch buncher now Hannah, so you won't get to see me very much during the day.  But don't worry, I'll be home to play on weekends. And Jack will be home to play with you during the day but only until Christmas and then he's coming to school with me.  And then you'll get to come to school one day too..." At which point she lost Hannah's attention and went back to getting ready for bed.  It was lighthearted and she was so happy when she was chatting to her, but it was a moment where I had to hold back tears.  

Today, I miss my little chatty friend, who even though she usually has quiet time while the other two are napping, manages to find a way to ask me 32652039 questions.  I miss hearing her singing from the basement while she plays by herself and creates villages and picnics and tea parties.  I know Lilly is having a wonderful day at school, and will probably come home at 3:00 with most of her lunch still in her lunch box because she was too busy talking to her friends to eat, but I still have a lump in my throat.

Lilly, ready for Kindergarten soccer.

So now, I have some quiet time of my own, before Jack and Hannah wake up and we pick Lilly up from school.  We're going to pick up Peter, one of her very best friends, and all go and have ice cream together, with some special ice cream money sent all the way from Singapore from Uncle Edward.  Lilly doesn't know this yet, so I can't wait to see her face when we tell her. It's the perfect surprise for her first full day as a lunch buncher!

Waiting at the bus stop in the morning with some of the neighborhood children.  We do it every morning before getting in the car and going to school!

Another morning at the bus stop.

Jack's First Train Ride

A couple of weeks ago, I took the little ones on the train from Fairfield to Stamford.  The electric train to be exact.  We set off after nap time to meet Jim and Ellie downtown for an early dinner.  I knew they would all have fun, but I couldn't wait to take Jack on his first train.  Jack loves everything about trains.  Driving around Fairfield, you are almost guaranteed a train passing by and every time is just as exciting as the first when you're two and a half years old.  When a train goes by, Jack will tell you whether it is an electric train (like Daddy takes) or a diesel engine.  Or if it's the Acela or a steam engine (which we have yet to see).  He's happy sitting at the train station for hours, and will always ask to see "just one more train" before we leave.

That afternoon, we got to the Fairfield train station nice and early to buy tickets at the ticket machine (which was an adventure itself) and then we got to sit and wait on the platform.  We watched trains zoom by and others stop.  Lilly asked her usual Lilly questions, wanting to know where everyone was going and why there were so many people getting on and off the train and why couldn't we just walk across the train tracks and how come there was so much trash on the train tracks...  You get the picture.  Jack just watched.  And sucked his thumb.  I think he was in shock--he had seen so many trains go by before but had never been this close to them.  It took until we got on the train for him to get going, and get going he did!

If our train ride was a movie, it would have been a black and white movie, with Lilly, Jack and Hannah starring as bright, colorful characters.  The train was full of commuters.  Heads down, no smiles, commuters.  No one offered us seats, even though I had Hannah in the stroller, and was holding Jack's hand with Lilly by my side.  This actually surprised me and made me judge people--something I don't like to do.  I know that if I was on a train and saw a mom walk onto that train with her three small children, I would stand up in a heartbeat.  It wasn't that people didn't see us.  Everyone looked up at us and then went right back to intently staring at their phones.  I couldn't be angry for long though.  The smiles and looks of awe on Jack and Lilly's faces made me forget everyone else.  Even Hannah was pointing saying, "tain, tain" (train, train).  Every time the doors closed after each stop, Jack would yell, "all aboard" at the top of his lungs.  When we zoomed by a train going in the other direction, they would point and cheer and clap.  Lilly and Jack anxiously awaited the conductor's arrival so he could punch their tickets.  He never made it down our way on the ride in, but the conductor on the way home made up for it, by punching smiley faces in their tickets.  I saved those tickets and know that whenever I see them, I'll smile.

Jim, Ellie, Lilly, Jack, Hannah and I had dinner outside in Stamford at one of our favorite restaurants, and then took the train back to Fairfield.  On the ride home, Jack was sitting on Ellie's lap, and Ellie patted Jack's stomach and said something like, "Wow Jack, your tummy is really full," to which Jack responded (in a not-very-quiet-two-year-old voice) "Auntie Ells, my tummy hurts.  I have to poop." You should have seen the other peoples' faces.  Priceless.  Just priceless.  Everyone was laughing and smiling.  There were lots of dads on the trains chuckling away.  Meanwhile, I asked Ellie to please not touch Jack's stomach again, and told Jack he was going to have to wait a few minutes until we got home!  There's never a dull moment taking these three out into the world.  The innocence and genuine excitement for life that children have is beautiful.  I'm savoring it, because try as I may, I know that one day, a ride on Metro North won't conjure up laughter, joy and clapping.  That's also part of life.  If Jim got on the train every day to go to work and starting cheering as trains passed by and yelled, "all aboard" every time the doors closed, he would raise a few eyebrows.  So, I'm enjoying these little ones. At five, almost three and one, life doesn't get much better.  

Home

Jack and Lilly, saying goodbye to their bedroom

Jim and I have moved around a lot.  We didn't set out to move often, but each time we've moved, we have been ready to start a new phase of our lives and this move was no exception.  We know we want to live in other parts of the country and different parts of the world at some point in our lives, which is why it has taken us 11 years of living in Connecticut to buy a house.  It may seem counterintuitive--we want to travel so we bought a house in Connecticut.  But, Jim and I have decided this move is right for us and for our family at this point in time.  It was not a choice we took lightly.  It was the product of many conversations; of going back and forth and thinking up various scenarios in our mind.  We knew that we had to move out of our house on South Pine Creek Road, which we really loved.  Unfortunately, moving out every 11 months, when the owners come back to live there is just not feasible so we had to make some decisions.  Our goal at the end of this move, was that wherever we were going, we wanted to be excited about it. We looked at other houses to rent, but the rents were astronomical and the houses were not particularly appealing.  We looked at houses to buy, and so many times were discouraged at the speed with which houses in our price range would come on and go off the market.  Everything seemed to be too expensive or too small or not the right location.  We kept saying we don't really need much to make us happy, so how come it seemed impossible to find a house for the five of us to call home?

Just as has happened so many times before, things worked out at just the right time.  We found this house in a great little neighborhood on a cute street, Quaker Lane.  The owners wanted to close within a day of our lease ending.  We have 4 bedrooms and a great fenced in yard.  We have a basement that is already the childrens' favorite room--it has space for all their toys and for lots of books.  It will soon have an art corner for Lilly and places to park all of Jack's trucks.  We want to get bean bags for them and we'll have music set up down there.  We moved in a week ago, and it already feels like home.  Lilly and Jack have stopped calling it "the new house"; instead, this house is now "home" and the house on S Pine Creek has quickly become "the old house."

moving day bagels

It is amazing how adaptable children are.  We're not setting up any furniture or unpacking most things until after we come home from the lake in a few weeks as we're going to redo the floors while we are away.  I thought living amidst boxes would be unsettling and throw everyone off balance, and although it is not ideal, the little ones don't mind at all.  They play hide and seek around the boxes.  Lilly and Jack are sleeping on their mattresses on the floor in their bedroom and think it's amazing.  They keep saying they're camping and having sleepovers.  Hannah has her crib in her bedroom, and nothing else (aside from her sleep sack which she is way too big to wear but we have no idea how to take it away! She uses it for her blanket while she sucks her thumb to fall asleep so at the moment, she wears it like a cape; unzipped and with her feet out).  Jim and I are sleeping on an aerobed.  We have no real furniture here.  And yet, it is already our home.

Saying goodbye to South Pine Creek was not easy.  When we moved in there, Lilly had just turned 3, Jack was 10 months old and I was 2 months pregnant with Hannah.  Jim and I were 31.  While that was our home, Lilly started school; Jack learned how to walk and talk; Hannah was born; Jim and I celebrated 7 years of being married; Lilly learned how to ride a bike; Jack grew to love Thomas and trains and trucks and dirt.  Hannah learned how to crawl and walk and talk; Lilly said goodbye to her toddler years and became a real little girl, who is self sufficient and a big help to me with the little ones;  Jack put his books away in the "suitcase" (bookcase) and would ask us to help him build car transporters and dump trucks and acela trains out of lego; by the time we left, Hannah was in the mix, following the older two around, chasing them in circles around the house and dancing when they danced; some of Lilly's favorite expressions included "Don't Forget Cuckoo Head", telling me that Jack or Hannah was having a "grand old time," or when asked why there was such a mess at the end of quiet time, would respond with, "Mum, I mean, I'm astonished.  I have no idea how this mess got here."  Hannah said "hi" and "bye" to everything, especially the vacuum, which she doesn't like.  So, upon seeing the vacuum, this tiny little opinionated person would walk right up to it saying, "Bye bye vacuum."  Jack would tell us that he was "very so cold" or "very so hungry" to really emphasize what he wanted.  What amazing little people they are, and what wonderful memories we have from that house.

Jim and I enjoyed cold beers outside while watching the little ones play in the pool.  We shoveled feet of snow into mountains for sledding.  We had glasses of wine on the couch together, deciding how we would like to spend the next 10 years of our life.  We made wonderful, genuine friends who we know will be a part of our lives forever. We had cups of coffee on our "lazy" weekend mornings that we had to reheat 39050325987 times because it's truly impossible to drink a hot cup of coffee with three small children by your side.  We had discussions about jobs and children and marriage and what's really important in life.  We talked about how a house is just a house, and how it will never define us or hold us back.  If we want to live abroad in 5 years, we'll sell the house.  If an opportunity arises before then, we'll find renters.  Whatever the circumstances are, a house will not limit us and our future.

We had every member of our families come to visit at some point over the past two years.  Some for a few hours; others stayed a few weeks; and we even had a visitor for a few months, who learned to drive while she stayed with us!!!  (Sorry Auntie Ells...it's too monumental not to mention).  Jim's dad was known for his mysterious late night visits, arriving at 2am and leaving by 6am.  We had the entire Clark family over for a Christmas party this year.  Mum and Dad came over from Singapore and were once again on call when Hannah was born.  One of my most vivid memories from South Pine Creek is coming downstairs when we knew I was in labor with Hannah, seeing Dad...having a quick conversation and having to stop mid way through because I was having a contraction...running (or more likely, waddling) upstairs to give Mum a hug goodbye, and heading to Greenwich Hospital at 4:30am where Hannah was born an hour later.

We have so many memories; we have pictures and stories; and now, we get to create a whole new set of memories.  Bring it on, Quaker Lane.  I hope you're ready for us!  

Oh, how we loved this house!

Everyone needs goggles when they're playing in the water table

watching a show, with Elmo and Dottie

our cardinal

Jack and his dump truck

Playing a little "red light, green light" to kick off the weekend!

"I just jumped out of a truck!"

The biggest help of all

Our beach

a picnic in the moving truck!

Welcome home!!!!

The train table is our dining room table at the moment!

Gorgeous flowers from Marie and beautiful champagne from Mum and Dad

First task: get a (yellow) bike for Jack and a (yellow dump truck) helmet to ride around the new neighborhood!

The new bath is a hit!

We're officially CT residents...11 years later.

Hannah's favorite place.  The stairs.   

Hello, Quaker Lane!