Off to Kindergarten!

First Day of School, 2014

As sad as I always am to see summer come to a close, the start of this school year brought so much excitement.  Lilly began her lunch bunch (or Kindergarten) year at Hunt Ridge, and had her first full day today.  She has been ready and asking to be a lunch buncher since her first day there two years ago.  When I told her that on the way to school this morning, she started laughing and said, "But Mom, 3 year olds can't be lunch bunchers. Only 5 year olds can!"  Lilly carries such joy, determination and excitement with her and has from her earliest days--even her entrance into the world was on her own terms and so fitting knowing the little girl she is today.  I've heard from lots of parents at the school about how amazing the third year of Montessori is.  It's a year when everything they've done over the past two years comes together.  They learn how to transition from using concrete manipulatives to abstract thinking.  They're not just taught how to add and subtract and to memorize math facts, but what decimals and place value really mean so that when math becomes more difficult down the road, they have a solid foundation upon which they can build.  They're the oldest children in the classroom and have the opportunity to teach lessons to the younger children.  They learn how to become respectful leaders. I have been constantly amazed by what Lilly learned at school over the past two years so I can only imagine where this year will take her!

Putting my love of the Montessori classroom aside, there's a little part of me that is sad today.  That same ache that I had on Lilly's very first day is back.  I know it's the next step and that Lilly is ready, but last night, I overheard a little conversation between Lilly and Hannah, when Lilly took Hannah aside and said:   "I'm going to be a lunch buncher now Hannah, so you won't get to see me very much during the day.  But don't worry, I'll be home to play on weekends. And Jack will be home to play with you during the day but only until Christmas and then he's coming to school with me.  And then you'll get to come to school one day too..." At which point she lost Hannah's attention and went back to getting ready for bed.  It was lighthearted and she was so happy when she was chatting to her, but it was a moment where I had to hold back tears.  

Today, I miss my little chatty friend, who even though she usually has quiet time while the other two are napping, manages to find a way to ask me 32652039 questions.  I miss hearing her singing from the basement while she plays by herself and creates villages and picnics and tea parties.  I know Lilly is having a wonderful day at school, and will probably come home at 3:00 with most of her lunch still in her lunch box because she was too busy talking to her friends to eat, but I still have a lump in my throat.

Lilly, ready for Kindergarten soccer.

So now, I have some quiet time of my own, before Jack and Hannah wake up and we pick Lilly up from school.  We're going to pick up Peter, one of her very best friends, and all go and have ice cream together, with some special ice cream money sent all the way from Singapore from Uncle Edward.  Lilly doesn't know this yet, so I can't wait to see her face when we tell her. It's the perfect surprise for her first full day as a lunch buncher!

Waiting at the bus stop in the morning with some of the neighborhood children.  We do it every morning before getting in the car and going to school!

Another morning at the bus stop.

Jack's First Train Ride

A couple of weeks ago, I took the little ones on the train from Fairfield to Stamford.  The electric train to be exact.  We set off after nap time to meet Jim and Ellie downtown for an early dinner.  I knew they would all have fun, but I couldn't wait to take Jack on his first train.  Jack loves everything about trains.  Driving around Fairfield, you are almost guaranteed a train passing by and every time is just as exciting as the first when you're two and a half years old.  When a train goes by, Jack will tell you whether it is an electric train (like Daddy takes) or a diesel engine.  Or if it's the Acela or a steam engine (which we have yet to see).  He's happy sitting at the train station for hours, and will always ask to see "just one more train" before we leave.

That afternoon, we got to the Fairfield train station nice and early to buy tickets at the ticket machine (which was an adventure itself) and then we got to sit and wait on the platform.  We watched trains zoom by and others stop.  Lilly asked her usual Lilly questions, wanting to know where everyone was going and why there were so many people getting on and off the train and why couldn't we just walk across the train tracks and how come there was so much trash on the train tracks...  You get the picture.  Jack just watched.  And sucked his thumb.  I think he was in shock--he had seen so many trains go by before but had never been this close to them.  It took until we got on the train for him to get going, and get going he did!

If our train ride was a movie, it would have been a black and white movie, with Lilly, Jack and Hannah starring as bright, colorful characters.  The train was full of commuters.  Heads down, no smiles, commuters.  No one offered us seats, even though I had Hannah in the stroller, and was holding Jack's hand with Lilly by my side.  This actually surprised me and made me judge people--something I don't like to do.  I know that if I was on a train and saw a mom walk onto that train with her three small children, I would stand up in a heartbeat.  It wasn't that people didn't see us.  Everyone looked up at us and then went right back to intently staring at their phones.  I couldn't be angry for long though.  The smiles and looks of awe on Jack and Lilly's faces made me forget everyone else.  Even Hannah was pointing saying, "tain, tain" (train, train).  Every time the doors closed after each stop, Jack would yell, "all aboard" at the top of his lungs.  When we zoomed by a train going in the other direction, they would point and cheer and clap.  Lilly and Jack anxiously awaited the conductor's arrival so he could punch their tickets.  He never made it down our way on the ride in, but the conductor on the way home made up for it, by punching smiley faces in their tickets.  I saved those tickets and know that whenever I see them, I'll smile.

Jim, Ellie, Lilly, Jack, Hannah and I had dinner outside in Stamford at one of our favorite restaurants, and then took the train back to Fairfield.  On the ride home, Jack was sitting on Ellie's lap, and Ellie patted Jack's stomach and said something like, "Wow Jack, your tummy is really full," to which Jack responded (in a not-very-quiet-two-year-old voice) "Auntie Ells, my tummy hurts.  I have to poop." You should have seen the other peoples' faces.  Priceless.  Just priceless.  Everyone was laughing and smiling.  There were lots of dads on the trains chuckling away.  Meanwhile, I asked Ellie to please not touch Jack's stomach again, and told Jack he was going to have to wait a few minutes until we got home!  There's never a dull moment taking these three out into the world.  The innocence and genuine excitement for life that children have is beautiful.  I'm savoring it, because try as I may, I know that one day, a ride on Metro North won't conjure up laughter, joy and clapping.  That's also part of life.  If Jim got on the train every day to go to work and starting cheering as trains passed by and yelled, "all aboard" every time the doors closed, he would raise a few eyebrows.  So, I'm enjoying these little ones. At five, almost three and one, life doesn't get much better.  

Home

Jack and Lilly, saying goodbye to their bedroom

Jim and I have moved around a lot.  We didn't set out to move often, but each time we've moved, we have been ready to start a new phase of our lives and this move was no exception.  We know we want to live in other parts of the country and different parts of the world at some point in our lives, which is why it has taken us 11 years of living in Connecticut to buy a house.  It may seem counterintuitive--we want to travel so we bought a house in Connecticut.  But, Jim and I have decided this move is right for us and for our family at this point in time.  It was not a choice we took lightly.  It was the product of many conversations; of going back and forth and thinking up various scenarios in our mind.  We knew that we had to move out of our house on South Pine Creek Road, which we really loved.  Unfortunately, moving out every 11 months, when the owners come back to live there is just not feasible so we had to make some decisions.  Our goal at the end of this move, was that wherever we were going, we wanted to be excited about it. We looked at other houses to rent, but the rents were astronomical and the houses were not particularly appealing.  We looked at houses to buy, and so many times were discouraged at the speed with which houses in our price range would come on and go off the market.  Everything seemed to be too expensive or too small or not the right location.  We kept saying we don't really need much to make us happy, so how come it seemed impossible to find a house for the five of us to call home?

Just as has happened so many times before, things worked out at just the right time.  We found this house in a great little neighborhood on a cute street, Quaker Lane.  The owners wanted to close within a day of our lease ending.  We have 4 bedrooms and a great fenced in yard.  We have a basement that is already the childrens' favorite room--it has space for all their toys and for lots of books.  It will soon have an art corner for Lilly and places to park all of Jack's trucks.  We want to get bean bags for them and we'll have music set up down there.  We moved in a week ago, and it already feels like home.  Lilly and Jack have stopped calling it "the new house"; instead, this house is now "home" and the house on S Pine Creek has quickly become "the old house."

moving day bagels

It is amazing how adaptable children are.  We're not setting up any furniture or unpacking most things until after we come home from the lake in a few weeks as we're going to redo the floors while we are away.  I thought living amidst boxes would be unsettling and throw everyone off balance, and although it is not ideal, the little ones don't mind at all.  They play hide and seek around the boxes.  Lilly and Jack are sleeping on their mattresses on the floor in their bedroom and think it's amazing.  They keep saying they're camping and having sleepovers.  Hannah has her crib in her bedroom, and nothing else (aside from her sleep sack which she is way too big to wear but we have no idea how to take it away! She uses it for her blanket while she sucks her thumb to fall asleep so at the moment, she wears it like a cape; unzipped and with her feet out).  Jim and I are sleeping on an aerobed.  We have no real furniture here.  And yet, it is already our home.

Saying goodbye to South Pine Creek was not easy.  When we moved in there, Lilly had just turned 3, Jack was 10 months old and I was 2 months pregnant with Hannah.  Jim and I were 31.  While that was our home, Lilly started school; Jack learned how to walk and talk; Hannah was born; Jim and I celebrated 7 years of being married; Lilly learned how to ride a bike; Jack grew to love Thomas and trains and trucks and dirt.  Hannah learned how to crawl and walk and talk; Lilly said goodbye to her toddler years and became a real little girl, who is self sufficient and a big help to me with the little ones;  Jack put his books away in the "suitcase" (bookcase) and would ask us to help him build car transporters and dump trucks and acela trains out of lego; by the time we left, Hannah was in the mix, following the older two around, chasing them in circles around the house and dancing when they danced; some of Lilly's favorite expressions included "Don't Forget Cuckoo Head", telling me that Jack or Hannah was having a "grand old time," or when asked why there was such a mess at the end of quiet time, would respond with, "Mum, I mean, I'm astonished.  I have no idea how this mess got here."  Hannah said "hi" and "bye" to everything, especially the vacuum, which she doesn't like.  So, upon seeing the vacuum, this tiny little opinionated person would walk right up to it saying, "Bye bye vacuum."  Jack would tell us that he was "very so cold" or "very so hungry" to really emphasize what he wanted.  What amazing little people they are, and what wonderful memories we have from that house.

Jim and I enjoyed cold beers outside while watching the little ones play in the pool.  We shoveled feet of snow into mountains for sledding.  We had glasses of wine on the couch together, deciding how we would like to spend the next 10 years of our life.  We made wonderful, genuine friends who we know will be a part of our lives forever. We had cups of coffee on our "lazy" weekend mornings that we had to reheat 39050325987 times because it's truly impossible to drink a hot cup of coffee with three small children by your side.  We had discussions about jobs and children and marriage and what's really important in life.  We talked about how a house is just a house, and how it will never define us or hold us back.  If we want to live abroad in 5 years, we'll sell the house.  If an opportunity arises before then, we'll find renters.  Whatever the circumstances are, a house will not limit us and our future.

We had every member of our families come to visit at some point over the past two years.  Some for a few hours; others stayed a few weeks; and we even had a visitor for a few months, who learned to drive while she stayed with us!!!  (Sorry Auntie Ells...it's too monumental not to mention).  Jim's dad was known for his mysterious late night visits, arriving at 2am and leaving by 6am.  We had the entire Clark family over for a Christmas party this year.  Mum and Dad came over from Singapore and were once again on call when Hannah was born.  One of my most vivid memories from South Pine Creek is coming downstairs when we knew I was in labor with Hannah, seeing Dad...having a quick conversation and having to stop mid way through because I was having a contraction...running (or more likely, waddling) upstairs to give Mum a hug goodbye, and heading to Greenwich Hospital at 4:30am where Hannah was born an hour later.

We have so many memories; we have pictures and stories; and now, we get to create a whole new set of memories.  Bring it on, Quaker Lane.  I hope you're ready for us!  

Oh, how we loved this house!

Everyone needs goggles when they're playing in the water table

watching a show, with Elmo and Dottie

our cardinal

Jack and his dump truck

Playing a little "red light, green light" to kick off the weekend!

"I just jumped out of a truck!"

The biggest help of all

Our beach

a picnic in the moving truck!

Welcome home!!!!

The train table is our dining room table at the moment!

Gorgeous flowers from Marie and beautiful champagne from Mum and Dad

First task: get a (yellow) bike for Jack and a (yellow dump truck) helmet to ride around the new neighborhood!

The new bath is a hit!

We're officially CT residents...11 years later.

Hannah's favorite place.  The stairs.   

Hello, Quaker Lane!

A Dinner Conversation

The other day, we were sitting down having dinner and our "normal" dinner conversations. We typically chat about the day and what Lilly's favorite part of school was and Jack tells Jim the highlights of his day (which usually include a trip to Trader Joe's, any trucks he has seen drive by our house and what trains we saw go by when we were out and about) and Hannah is very quickly making herself heard, repeating words she knows as loudly as she can.  Jim and I try to chat briefly, but inevitably, our conversation is hijacked by little people and their random thoughts.  On this particular night, Lilly interrupted our conversation telling us she had something really important to say.

                      Lilly:  Excuse me, Mum, you're soooo lucky.

                      Me:    Why am I so lucky Lil? (I thought it had something to do with me being able to
                                 stay up late or the fact that I'm allowed to make the rules or that I get to drink fizzy
                                 water, all of which are regular conversations in our house).

                      Lilly:  You're so lucky because Papa, your Dad, is SOOOOOO cool.

*At this point, Jim did a double take and almost choked on his wine.*

                      Lilly:   I mean, he does magic.  He pulls things out of our ears, makes popping noises to
                                 the "Lollipop Song" and makes wine glasses whistle.  You're so lucky, Mum.

At the risk of putting words into Jim's mouth that I may have said, I will continue on by saying that Jim and I couldn't contain ourselves.  As far as random thoughts go, this one was pretty priceless.  One of us brought up the idea that Papa, who is known for his always fashionable elastic bottom pants and tevas, probably hasn't been called "cool", or "sooooo cool" for quite some time.

We relayed this conversation to Dad this over Skype that evening, and as would be expected, this went straight to his head.  I'm willing to bet that not too many 5-year old girls describe their grandfathers as cool, but that was indeed Lilly's word of choice.  It's a story that will not be allowed to fade away over time.

I have to include an email from Dad, when all the Stephens Family were chatting about Lilly's story.  Dad, in true Dad form, wrote:  

Lilly's thoughtful and spontaneous observation is a wonderful commentary on the perceptiveness of the young mind, untainted by the cynicism and feebleness of adulthood. Jim's response is probably the same one Steve Jobs got from his mother when he said he had designed a computer. Those on the front lines of human progress have always suffered disdain. It is the price we pay.   

In all seriousness, Lilly's story just goes to show that the things children need in their lives are so simple.  Sure, there are some toys that they love, but when Lilly talks about Papa, she doesn't talk about the things he's given her.  She doesn't talk about his job or his house (or lack thereof!) or anything to do with money.  She talks about him and his "magic" and his popping noise, which she practices making all the time, and can do herself now--something that I have a hard time doing.  What a wonderful, simple world she lives in.

Papa's magic, in full force.

Papa in action--teaching Jack how to skip rocks.  Pretty cool indeed.